idiot neighbours, rant topic :)

[Art Blade]

It's been a while, back in the days of the old forum, once in a while someone came up with a story about their neighbour(s) and it was hilarious to read because in a way we usually know that type of neighbour or at least we can feel pity for the narrator while sometimes we're also laughing about the story itself. I do remember fragger's and mandru's stories in particular.

However, only recently I once again heard someone coming home late at night, the same person quite certainly whom I had noticed before for the same reason. I assume it's a male person because of what makes me recognise him is always the same: He pulls up to the underground car park, towards the card reader for the rolling shutter gate, opens it, and drives down in. Once inside, it's a huge car park with several storeys and spans about a full block of buildings, he apparently loves the acoustics down there. Being all concrete, the car park area causes both an amplified and reverberant sound. That makes even a small car sound like two sizes bigger than it is. Now, our guy doesn't drive a small car. He drives a big Porsche. By itself, the engine sound is already impressive. Down there, it's rich and loud.

And that guy, preferably in the middle of the night, streets and everything around completely silent, drives down in and then revs up his engine for a short sprint, obviously enjoying the deafening sound his car's engine produces while doing that. Well, I don't. I was on the balcony a few days ago and heard the same spectacle like many times before, except there was one difference. He had revved up insanely fast and the engine sound went from a deep growl to a high-pitched scream in one second and then..

..a very rich and loud BANG!

As the reverb of that sound faded away, everything went and stayed silent. Very silent.

With a massive smile on my face, I turned around and went back in. I still don't care what exactly might have happened down there but the bang was something that sounded as if the engine alone produced it, it didn't sound as if he had worked himself into a concrete wall. Like, no sound of ceilings tumbling down and such.

I think he simply killed his engine.

I tried to imagine his face, probably going through all shades of red and white, cold sweat on his forehead while thinking, "no no NO NO NOOO!" It also puts a smile on my face imagining a situation when he's at the car service, being asked what had happened. Will he come up with some lies, pretending not to know, or admit his puerile stupidity? Whatever, it will be a costly end for him. Blowing up a Porsche engine doesn't come cheap. And if he had hit something on top of that, it wouldn't have made it any cheaper.

Whatever, stupid idiot, serves him right.

[nex]

Instant karma, I love it!!!   
Now I would have strolled down there and rubbed salt into his wounds,
It's humiliating enough when you're all by yourself doing something stupid like that
It's 10 times more humiliating when there are witnesses   

[Art Blade]

I was thinking about that But then again, I didn't feel like having to help once down there. I much rather left that idiot to his own devices.

[fragger]

Excellent I love it when inconsiderate wankers get theirs!

That won't be a cheap fix, either. And I'm willing to bet he was lax about sticking to his service schedule - wankers often are. The oil was probably long overdue for a change, and the heat generated by his excessive revving in a confined space while barely moving probably accelerated the loss of its viscosity until it was like flat Coke Fused a piston and the rings to the cylinder wall and blew the works.

[Dweller_Benthos]

Serves him right. You'd think Porsche engines are made pretty tough, considering, so it must take a world class dum-dum to blow one up. Unless like Fragger says he was very lax in his maintenance schedule and hasn't changed the oil in years.

[mandru]

Play stupid games - Win stupid prizes.

It took a long time for this guy to get his stupid prize but he really hung in there and won the top prize in the lottery of stupidity. 


Edit: In my rush to post this I left out a few words.  Corrected in Orange 

[Art Blade]

I'm glad to see that you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed it when I experienced it

[BinnZ]

 

Lovely!

I know the sound of that idiot playing his guilty pleasure and man would I have loved to hear that bang!
I agree with nex, this was one that needed some rubbing 

[Art Blade]

 

[BinnZ]

Actually, you should get yourself a thick fat permanent marker an write above the entrance: "This basement has Porsche-proof acoustics!"

[Art Blade]

"Expert drivers only. RIP Porsche"

[PZ]

 

I agree - rubbing it in would have been the icing on the cake, and something to relive every time the fool drove the same way in his new Porsche.

As to having to help if going down there to see the fallout of the big bang, you just throw up your hands while telling him that you have absolutely no mechanical skills except those required to dial the tow truck. 

[fragger]

Haha, yes

[Art Blade]

 

[Dweller_Benthos]

Right - "Hey, can you help me with this?"

Gets out phone and dials repair shop.