Funny Rhymes

[BinnZ]

I just came across this one, I HAVE to share with you:



The Pig

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read,
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found,
Till suddenly one wondrous night,
All in a flash, he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, : By gum, I've got the answer!"

"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops!
"To put in all the butchers' shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great peace of mind.

Next morning in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And Piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor...
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you MUST understand
That Piggy DID EAT Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he'd finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile, he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat HIM first."

Roald Dahl

[BinnZ]

I wish I could share some of my favourite Dutch poems with you, however you wouldn't understand a bit. I thought maybe google can help and indeed. The first translation is my favourite, but you may check for yourself:

https://caans-acaen.ca/Journal/issues_online/Issue_IV_ii_V_i_1983/KINGSTONE.pdf

[Art Blade]

the piggy one is just fantastic, by no less than Roald Dahl!

[PZ]

Good ones 

[fragger]

Good one, BinnZ Roald Dahl wrote lots of wonderful stuff!

Another humorous poetic type I like is an American, Ogden Nash. Here's a few quick ones of his:


The Termite

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your cousin May,
Fell through the parlor floor today.

* * * * * * * * * *

A Word To Husbands

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup:
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.

* * * * * * * * * *

The Hunter

The hunter crouches in his blind,
'Neath camouflage of every kind,
And conjures up a quacking noise
To lend allure to his decoys.
This grown-up man, with pluck and luck,
Is hoping to outwit a duck.

* * * * * * * * * *

The Porpoise

I kind of like the playful porpoise,
A he@lthy mind in a he@lthy corpus.
He and his cousin, the playful dolphin,
Why, they like swimmin' like I like golfin'.

[BinnZ]

Nice ones fragger!

[Art Blade]

yeah, nice ones