Printers, don't you hate them?

[BinnZ]

Today I had another argument with my printer, a HP Envy 5640. A device that prints both photo's and A4 paper and also scans documents. It operates through USB with my desktop PC and wireless with other devices.

This time, the argument began when I wanted to make a scan of my wife's documents for a job she wants to apply for. First, she tried to scan. Through the little touch-pad on the device. Issues. She asked me. I did the same. Issues. Endless loading.
I remembered that usually the printer only wants to scan documents to my computer if I initiate it from my PC. So I did. I opened the HP Envy app and ordered it to make a scan. Connecting... connecting... "Can't communicate with the selected device: check if the power cord and USB connector are correctly connected and try again". I did. Same issue.
So I checked whether I could order the HP Envy to print; I could. It immediately started printing. So much for wires...

I remember from numerous times before, not only with this HP device but with others in the past as well, there's one simple solution to make it w0#k again: Completely disconnect the device from your machine, uninstall any HP drivers and programs, reconnect, download the newest driver and software and you're done, it will w0#k again.
So I started. Downloaded the necessary files from hp.com first. That isn't as simple as you may think. The entire page is blinking with new products you might want to buy, or paid services you might want to sign up for, and somewhere there's a tiny button called 'support'. Then you can find your way through more menus and get a download. The first thing you have to be aware of is that if you don't read carefully, you automatically download and install feedback programs to 'help solve future issues easier' and a bullshit photo viewer program that will *bleep* up your entire library settings and make itself the preferred photo viewing app on your system. So be careful, read the small letters, and uncheck unwanted bullshit.
Then when it's installing, you have to evade auto-signup for HP instant-ink. An application that makes your HP Envy decide on its own when it's time to order new printer ink. Then you have to evade auto-warnings for future "cool features and products you may want to be informed about", uncheck that, and finally your new HP app will connect to your device. And done. You are redirected to an internet page where you can sign up for more bullshit, and you get a prompt to register your product and make a HP account. So they can spam even more bullshit propaganda in your email. Evade the registry and HP account and close the program.

After I did all this, I opened the app, ordered my HP Envy to make a scan, and Bob was my Uncle.

This is one of many reasons why I hate printers. I don't have the illusion that other manufacturers are better. They are all the same. I hate printers. I HATE them. At w0#k, at home, wherever I am, they make me feel miserable and powerless.
Printers are my number one "Out-Through-The-Window-Devices"

[Art Blade]

 

Last time I had a printer was almost exactly 30 years ago. Never owned one ever since.

[PZ]

I dread having to use the also. Unfortunately there are circumstances in which companies require you to send a paper copy of things. My heart always sinks when I see that requirement.

[fragger]

I feel your pain, BinnZ. Printers were the bane of my existence when I worked in IT. Bloody things

[BinnZ]

I feel your pain, BinnZ. Printers were the bane of my existence when I worked in IT. Bloody things

Wow, and I can feel yours, damn man

I would get a heart attack knowing that I'd have to dedicate my time at w0#k to those horrible 'follow-me-multi-copiers'. These things are good for one thing; exercise. Make you walk from your desk to the damn copier over and over again, each time promising you to do the job you want them to do. And whether it's the paper in the machine, the toner, your thin client or the program you ordered the print with, it just keeps you running.
I always smile though, when I see a colleague standing in front of it, pulling a lever or looking around confused, because I know it's not me this time who's in trouble

[Art Blade]

 

we got those multi-functional machines at the office.

Starts with, "hmm.. the print on my documents, do I put it on the scanner face down or face up?"

Which is followed by a decision: "Do I manually copy every page or do I risk feeding them through that slot there, risking a paper jam or worse, a jam and torn documents?"

Of course there is the low toner message and the empty 500-sheet input tray. The other three trays which aren't being used at all, someone of course had filled those to the brim. Pro tip: if you need paper, check them first.

And the next time you check, it's empty again and the toner finally gone completely but at least someone had successfully printed out 500 pages of the intranet by wrongly clicking a "print all" rather than "print article" button on the intranet browser.

And of course, they leave their 500 pages until someone else takes all that stuff and lugs it over to the one responsible whose typical reaction is, "oh.. really? I'm sorry but thank you."

Then you return to the printer, realise someone else had emptied all other trays before you and you start looking for paper in adjacent rooms because someone forgot to order new paper.

Once you filled up the paper tray you realise it immediately resumes printing. Checking one of the printed pages reveals that the "print all" job was far from finished so you need to find out how to stop that queued print job without removing valid print jobs queued by other colleagues who simply left after a quick look whether their documents were already printed and if they weren't, just ignored that something was wrong. They know someone else (most likely you because you need the printer) will fix it.

And so on.

[Dweller_Benthos]

You know the old saying "jack of all trades, master of none"? That applies doubly to all-in-one printer-scanner-copier-fax machines, they suck at all the functions pretty much equally, bit they do them all after a fashion. Sure they take up less desk space, you only need to hook up one machine, install drivers / software for one machine, etc. I have an Epson Artisan 50 printer that has never failed me. I also have an Epson 600 scanner that has never failed me either. My cousin has had any number of all-in-one machines from all the major manufacturers (Epson, HP, Canon) and they have all either failed or been a total waste of time to use, after a little while that is. They all w0#k beautifully at first, and for print quality, they are OK, scanner options, also limited but for her use all she needs. But each one has failed one or more of the functions after a while, one the printer only works in black & white, the other the scanner scans but won't connect to fax the image, etc.