Jokes

[Art Blade]

hehe, yep, waaaaay to much stuff.

Reminds me of:

In a shopping mall, there's an announcement over the PA. "Attention please. The driver of the car with the numberplate 'CA-NWX-095-M9E-774-XE4-301' is blocking the exit with his numberplate."

[PZ]

 

Reminds me of some Tex-Mex restaurants with menus several pages long. Takes one 15 minutes just to read all the options. I just visited one on the Oregon coast a couple of weeks ago, and the food was excellent. I do not know how they can offer so many options while still offering timely service. Of course, I went just before the dinner rush.

[Art Blade]

there is a rule of thumb: the more dishes, the less the chance they're really good.

I prefer restaurants with a small choice of dishes because you can bet they've got enough experience and practice cooking those to perfection

[PZ]

I tend to agree, but this one had a seafood platter that was stellar (and at an excellent price) - a real gem among the rather pedestrian restaurants in the area. Of course, being brand new, they are likely trying to establish a following.

[LinkHero]

A Chinese man living in America wanted to open a zoo. Naturally, being an ordinary citizen, he had no resources to acquire animals and the required space, so he decided to open a zoo in his own front yard. He made an enclosure, and placed his dog inside said enclosure. He then put an ad in the paper to announce the grand opening of his new zoo.
On the first day, a few people came to see his zoo, and soon saw his enclosure with his dogs inside it. They asked the owner,"Where are your other animals?" And the guy replied,"I don't have any other animals."
At the end of the "tour", the first batch exited. Right at the exit, they said to the next bunch of waiting people,"That's a pretty *bleep* zoo."( Sierra Hotel India Tango, because the site likes to mute what it considers offensive.)

Spoiler

Just take the first letter of each capitalized word.

The owner heard this, of course, and was depressed. He half expected everybody to go away.To his surprise, however, the waiting people crowded around him demanding to be next in line to see the pretty *bleep* zoo. Confused, he let the next batch in, and afterwards, they too agreed that it was a pretty *bleep* zoo. These people announced it with less disgust, however.
Rumors of this pretty *bleep* zoo spread. The local paper reported it in the headlines too. Despite that, people from all over came to visit his zoo.
Finally, the man caught on, imported a whole bunch of dogs from china, and set up a center for adoption. Soon, many people in the local area had theirs. Their popularity only grew with time.

This is the story of how the Shih Tzu breed of dogs became popular in America.
----------------------------------------------
Long one, but worth it.

[Art Blade]

less a joke, more a peculiar story. Still, nice one

[LinkHero]

There was a typo in the joke, it is intended as a joke. The word "real" isn't supposed to be there. My bad.
Actually, I don't know how that particular breed of dog became popular. So I made up a story.

[Art Blade]

alright

[LowPolyOWG]

You can disable the censor setting in your forum account settings (look and layout setting)

[PZ]

 

Yes, go ahead and write anything you like and those that want to see the unadulterated version will see it just as you intend.

[Dweller_Benthos]

Buddy the beer brewing robot in FO4 tells a version of that joke:

"I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal they had was a dog. It was a shitzu."

The rest are listed here

from r/Fallout

[LinkHero]

A few quickies:
#1:
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

*****

#2:
How did the one-armed sprinter win the steeplechase?
Single-handed.

*****

#3:
3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

*****

#4:
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

*****

#5:
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1

*****

#6:
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

*****

#7:
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

[LowPolyOWG]

 

[Art Blade]

nice, all of 'em

[PZ]

  especially the last one!