Jokes

[Dweller_Benthos]

I'd post a counter-argument but I'm late for my nap.

[PZ]

 

[fragger]

 You guys

I don't yet think of myself as having reached "old", despite technically being past middle age. I tell myself I'm still merrily rambling through "certain age" territory, but I can clearly see the border from here

*

I may have told this one already, I can't remember (yeah yeah, because I'm old...)

A Texan rancher, traveling around the outback on vacation in Australia, comes across a pub in a remote one-horse town and decides to drop in and meet the locals.

So he enters the pub. Inside, there are only two people: the barman, and one customer, an old Aussie farmer sitting at the counter.

So the Texan approaches the old farmer, pulls up a stool and and strikes up a conversation.

After a bit the Texan asks the farmer, "So, how many acres of land y'all got?"

"Oh, about 40 or so", replies the farmer.

"40?" exclaims the Texan. "Just 40? Y'all call that a spread? Why, let me tell ya! Back in the States, I can get on my horse at daybreak, ride in a straight line all day long, and when the sun goes down, I'll still be on my own land!"

The farmer nods sagely and drawls, "Yeah... had a horse like that meself once".

[Dweller_Benthos]

haha, yeah a variation I heard was a Texan meets a yankee and they get to talking and the Texan says "My ranch is so big I can drive three days and not reach the other side" they yankee says, "Yeah, I had a car like that once" .

[PZ]

 

I heard another variant on the series "Yellowstone" where the character "Jimmy" told the joke using a pickup truck as the vehicle. His fellow wranglers all groaned 

[nex]

I never called you stupid,
but when I asked you to
spell "Orange" and you
asked me the fruit or the
color. it kinda caught
me off guard.

[Dweller_Benthos]

The mystery is, though, is the color named after the fruit or the fruit after the color?

[PZ]

 

[fragger]

lol nex

@D_B, good question. One might ask why we don't eat bunches of "purples", slip on "yellow peels", or make pasta dishes with "red" paste

[fragger]

Not a joke per se, but something that occurred to me this morning:

The name of our last Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, was often shortened to "SCOMO", by taking the first syllables of his names.

If we do that with our new Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, we get "ANAL" 

[Dweller_Benthos]

If we did something similar for our last president, we get DON'T so there you go lol

[PZ]

 

[nex]

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[PZ]

 

[fragger]

 

Well, the little guy's heart is in the right place!