Jokes

[Dweller_Benthos]

oh man..... LOL!

[fragger]

A chicken runs into the library, goes up to the librarian and says, "book, book".

The librarian thinks to herself, "Did this chicken just ask for a book"? So out of curiosity, she hands the chicken a book. The chicken takes the book in its beak and runs out of the library with it.

The next day, the chicken runs into the library, goes up to the librarian and says, "book, book". Once again, the librarian gives the chicken a book and the chicken runs out with it.

The next day, the chicken runs into the library, goes up to the librarian and says, "book, book". Yet again the librarian gives the chicken a book, but this time she follows when the chicken runs out.

She follows the chicken for several blocks and into a city park. With the librarian following, the chicken runs through some dense scrub and comes to a lily pond.

There, siting on a large lily pad, is a big frog.

The chicken drops the book at the edge of the pond, looks at the frog and says, "book, book".

The frog looks at the book, then looks at the chicken and says, "redit, redit".

[Dweller_Benthos]

And the librarian now had to charge a late book return fee and told the chicken, "buck buck"

[PZ]

 

[BinnZ]

 

[Dweller_Benthos]

I named my dog 6 miles.

Spoiler

So I can say I walk 6 miles every day.

[PZ]

 

[nex]

  you walked six miles around the block today, then put the block away........

[PZ]

 

[nex]

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[PZ]

 

[Dweller_Benthos]

Adult bird then pushes baby bird out of the nest, better learn to fly on your way down!

[nex]

If it was my mom, she'd just boot me out of the nest followed by, "fly you little s...t"....

[fragger]

This is not a joke so much as a funny story, as related to me by my father. He swears it's true.

Many years ago, my Dad had a musician friend who also fancied himself as a bit of a rancher. Let's call him "Fred". Fred owned some acreage out in the sticks where he kept a few animals, including some chickens, a horse and a grand total of seven sheep.

One day, Fred decided that the fleece on his sheep needed shearing, so he called a professional sheep-shearer. He told the shearer, "Hi there. I have some sheep which need shearing. I was wondering if you could help me out, and how much would it cost me?"

The shearer said, "Sure, I can do that. How many sheep are we talking about?"

"Seven", replied Fred.

The shearer said, "Okay then. Seven thousand sheep, at $2.25 per shear. Let's see, that will come to..."

"No, not seven thousand", Fred interjected. "Seven sheep".

"Oh, I see", said the shearer. "And what are their names?"

[PZ]

 

I love moments like that