The Rattanburrow Chronicles: On Dart Guns and the use thereof...

[mir24]

*click*

"Is this thing working? Hello? Hel- oh yes, it is now... It's such a chore keeping anything in working condition in this weather... Then again, my fault really - should've known not to trust that wretched journalist and his miserable excuse for a tape recorder! Bargain price indeed! Ah well...

"*clears throat* Good afternoon, dear listeners, and welcome to your favourite radio program on hunting large game - William Rattanburrow's 'Hunting Heads', previously known as 'Assassins in Africa' and 'Corpses in the Crosshair' featured on the popular family program 'Man-Hunter - the Most Dangerous Game of All'.

"Today, we're going to look at one of the most under-rated weapons of all time - the humble DART GUN.

"If one can overlook the fact that the dart gun does look rather plastic in its finish and its extremely limited ammunition capacity, it actually has a host of features which helps to endear it to avid man-hunters (such as yours truly).

"It is lightweight, it is powerful, it comes with a very useful scope, it is silent and is finished in a very nicely done jungle DPM-95 camouflage pattern!

"Now, regarding the dart gun's infamous deadliness, it has been theorized that the darts are coated with a potent tranquilizer - enough to knockout an elephant HERD and a half.

"After some experimenting and a rather unfortunate accident - your service shall be missed, my dear Smithers, but you *really* shouldn't have startled me like that - I can safely confirm that the dart gun uses a very fast-working mix of neuro-toxins, extremely deadly in its effect. Either that or some bumbleheaded apothecarist somewhere mixed up the prescriptions for "se-da-tive" with "cy-a-nide"...

"Suffice it to say that one can shoot one's target in the head, shoulders, knees and pinky toe (as in the case of poor Smithers) - anywhere at all! - and affect a deadly and permanent solution.

"I would add, however, that for maximum stealth effect, one should optimise one's man-hunting with the camouflage suit and make use of the surrounding foliage and terrain.

"Additionally, while a shot anywhere is lethal (as mentioned before), a head-shot is preferred to avoid alerting other guards. One's target dies instantly with no tell-tale "Uhg-aaargh!" to warn his comrades.

"It also helps to wait and note if the chosen target's comrades are either in the near vicinity or looking in his direction. Avoiding either scenario would result in a successful kill without a single soul knowing any better and crying alarm... One can then snipe the remaining targets and wipe out an entire guard post before the first body has time to cool down.

"One final note on aesthetics and the ego... If you're thinking 'Which merc worth his salt would want to be seen running around Pala with a poncy dart gun?', then bloody well holster your dartgun and whip out your shiny gold AK-47, for goodness' sake!

"And that concludes this week's episode of 'Hunting Heads'. I hope you've found this episode thoroughly informative and do tune in to our next airing at some undetermined time in future where I'll be talking about traversing the Great Southern Desert...

"This is William Rattanburrow, signing out!"

*click*

[fragger]

 ;D Hehehe, nice one, mir24, very funny and original - terrific read :-X :-X :-X

I'll top a merc or two for poor Smithers next time I'm out in the field :-*

[Art Blade]

mir24, mate, that earned you a thumbs-up on your Kudos. You are just the nice kind of insane maniac who pops up and posts away entertaining posts... that's what we like here. Go on, keep it up  ;D :-X

[JRD]

Yeap... I'll join the choir... well written and very entertainig post mir24!

Keep up the good w@&k, we love to hear good stories here!

[PZ]

Yes indeed, one of the most entertaining reads I've seen in a while - kudos.  :-X

[deadman1]

Excellent read, I think we may have a worthy heir to are old friend Gord here  :-X

[Art Blade]

hehe, good timing indeed, isn't it  ;D

[fragger]

Yes, we needed a new Gord ;D

So, mir24, I dub thee the New Gord. Arise, Sir Bard, and regale us with yet more of your merry tales!

[mir24]

Yes, we needed a new Gord ;D

So, mir24, I dub thee the New Gord. Arise, Sir Bard, and regale us with yet more of your merry tales!

Hahaha! Gee, thanks guys. I was thoroughly bored and thought I'd let my creative juices run free...

Rattanburrow was a character I created for a stage play short skit, as a tribute and parody to the English naturalist and documentary producer, Sir David Attenborough. So if you want to imagine how Rattanburrow would sound like, watch one of Attenborough's documentaries...  :)

Pray tell, dear Sirs, who be this "Gord" you speak of?

[mir24]

Decided to rename this post and others that follow (if any) to The Rattanburrow Chronicles. 'Tis a pity we can't create our own characters for FC2 or I'd definitely name mine... well, I'm sure you can guess what I'd name my character. Hahah!

[deadman1]

Yes, we needed a new Gord ;D

So, mir24, I dub thee the New Gord. Arise, Sir Bard, and regale us with yet more of your merry tales!

Hahaha! Gee, thanks guys. I was thoroughly bored and thought I'd let my creative juices run free...

Rattanburrow was a character I created for a stage play short skit, as a tribute and parody to the English naturalist and documentary producer, Sir David Attenborough. So if you want to imagine how Rattanburrow would sound like, watch one of Attenborough's documentaries...  :)

Pray tell, dear Sirs, who be this "Gord" you speak of?

Gord (actual nick Retiredgord) is a member that used to post a lot here before. He used to write stories just like you did and they always made you smile and chuckle.

[fragger]

Cheers, deadman. I meant to explain who Gord is but I forgot :-[

(Note to self: Buy more medication while shopping tomorrow)

[spaceboy]

great read mir24 - very enjoyable....Thanks!

[Dweller_Benthos]

Yes, a great read, more, please sir!

I always thought it wierd that your merc alter-ego could have no problem carrying several hundred rounds of .30 cal ammo (which must weigh upwards of a couple hundred pounds, no?) but can only carry seven measly darts? I mean, how much can those weigh, a couple ounces each?

[mir24]

Yes, a great read, more, please sir!

I always thought it wierd that your merc alter-ego could have no problem carrying several hundred rounds of .30 cal ammo (which must weigh upwards of a couple hundred pounds, no?) but can only carry seven measly darts? I mean, how much can those weigh, a couple ounces each?

"More?!" (*cue the song "Oliver" from Oliver! the Musical)

Yes, I've always wondered that myself (about the darts, that is, not about Oliver!).

After playing many RPG and FPS games, I applaud those games which favour realism - FC2 (in a way) for limiting the number of weapons, for example. But I just don't get it when they limit ammo (e.g. Deus Ex - as many weapons as your inventory can fit but limited number of rounds per weapon) or number of weapons (either according to inventory or type).

It seems to me, that realistically, one should simply be able to carry a number of weapons according to a set weight limit and decide how much ammo I want per weapon, again, to a set weight limit. What if I want 30 darts but only 2 magazines of 7.62 mm ammo.

But then again, realistically, one shot should kill a man. Not 40. Hehehe.

[fragger]

Good points about ammo weights, the carrying capacity of darts vs bullets in the game is very illogical.

The most realistic games I've seen regarding what you can carry are the Call of Duty ones, particularly the WW2 ones. Two weapons only, and even that was a slight stretch - a typical Allied soldier would only have his rifle or light machine gun, unless he was American in which case he'd also have a Colt .45 pistol (I don't think British soldiers were issued with pistols, only the officers, but I could be wrong about that). He wouldn't have, say, a Tommy gun and an automatic rifle. Depending on the weapon, he'd carry about 6-8 clips of ammo and no more than about 4 hand grenades, and this too is reflected accurately in the game.

Stalker: Call of Pripyat admirably addresses the weight issue, in that you do have a carrying weight limit. Once you reach your inventory weight limit, you can still add even more stuff to it but it starts to slow you down. You can also pick and choose between ammo, weapons and other things to try to keep under the weight limit. It's still unrealistic though in terms of how much space all that stuff would actually take up.

The craziest one I can think of was Quake II - ten weapons (including a huge plasma cannon-like thing) and enough ammo to stock a good size armoury. 50 rockets and 100 grenades? Even with a backpack? I mean, really. If translated into reality and if you could see your guy when he was fully kitted out, all you'd see would be a mass of weapons and ammo boxes with a pair of straining, quivering legs protruding from underneath it all ;D

[mir24]

Good points about ammo weights, the carrying capacity of darts vs bullets in the game is very illogical.

The most realistic games I've seen regarding what you can carry are the Call of Duty ones, particularly the WW2 ones. Two weapons only, and even that was a slight stretch - a typical Allied soldier would only have his rifle or light machine gun, unless he was American in which case he'd also have a Colt .45 pistol (I don't think British soldiers were issued with pistols, only the officers, but I could be wrong about that). He wouldn't have, say, a Tommy gun and an automatic rifle. Depending on the weapon, he'd carry about 6-8 clips of ammo and no more than about 4 hand grenades, and this too is reflected accurately in the game.

Stalker: Call of Pripyat admirably addresses the weight issue, in that you do have a carrying weight limit. Once you reach your inventory weight limit, you can still add even more stuff to it but it starts to slow you down. You can also pick and choose between ammo, weapons and other things to try to keep under the weight limit. It's still unrealistic though in terms of how much space all that stuff would actually take up.

The craziest one I can think of was Quake II - ten weapons (including a huge plasma cannon-like thing) and enough ammo to stock a good size armoury. 50 rockets and 100 grenades? Even with a backpack? I mean, really. If translated into reality and if you could see your guy when he was fully kitted out, all you'd see would be a mass of weapons and ammo boxes with a pair of straining, quivering legs protruding from underneath it all ;D

Agreed! I reckon a pretty good measure is how many quick-keys one has to press to access those weapons. I mean, FC2 has 4 - 1 for the Machete, 2 Secondary, 3 Primary and 4 Special.

But when you have more weapons than numbers 1-10 on your keyboard PLUS the 'G' key for grenades, 'H' for 'syringes', 'T' for Targeting scope, 'B' for binoculars, and 'F' for flares or your pet poodle Fifi (or whatever), it's time to step back and have a good think about realism!  :-\

Even Medal of Honour has 7 weapons, I think. Ye Gods! If I went to war like that, I'd never make it into the landing craft, let alone the bloody, bloody beaches! Having said that, I'd just like to digress and say that MoH gave me some of the most satisfying weapon sounds and recoil effects for the longest time...  :-*

[Dweller_Benthos]

How many weapons does Serious Sam have? Probably 10 or so, including that giant huge cannon. When you see the animation for changing weapons, it looks like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where they just reach behind their back and whatever they need magically appears. But that game is kind of cartoony anyway.

One thing I'd like in FC2 would be the ability to stock up your attack truck. Be able to load it with weapon crates & ammo so you can get to a mission and carry what you need to get there (heavy weapons to take out guard posts) and then change to lighter weapons like the dart gun to take out a target. Be nice to have a garage to park it in too....

Another thing that would be cool is to be able to pick up propane tanks and load a truck with them and some IED's and.... well, use your imagination.....

[PZ]

One thing I'd like in FC2 would be the ability to stock up your attack truck. Be able to load it with weapon crates & ammo so you can get to a mission and carry what you need to get there (heavy weapons to take out guard posts) and then change to lighter weapons like the dart gun to take out a target. Be nice to have a garage to park it in too....

That's a great idea - I'd love the ability to run back to my vehicle after assessing an attack scenario for weapon requirements.  It would be nice to be able to upgrade the vehicle too - lift kit, off-road tires, super/turbo charger, etc.

[mir24]

One thing I'd like in FC2 would be the ability to stock up your attack truck. Be able to load it with weapon crates & ammo so you can get to a mission and carry what you need to get there (heavy weapons to take out guard posts) and then change to lighter weapons like the dart gun to take out a target. Be nice to have a garage to park it in too....

That's a great idea - I'd love the ability to run back to my vehicle after assessing an attack scenario for weapon requirements.  It would be nice to be able to upgrade the vehicle too - lift kit, off-road tires, super/turbo charger, etc.

I agree with your ideas!  :-X This is the first thought that came to my mind the very first time I "borrowed" a Jeep, parked it and returned later after a mission to find it mysteriously gone!

I think the developers missed out on a great opportunity to "show-off" the versatility of the Jeep. Hehe. I recall reading that since it was introduced during WW2, the Jeep has fulfilled almost every role (anti-tank, anti-infantry, medic, engineer, command, etc.) AND has mounted almost every kind of weapon possible (missiles, rpg's, machineguns, even stretchers for medics, etc.).

I don't see why it can't do the same if given the chance. Hehe. And the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited seems a perfect platform for all these roles!  :) Add the option to customize it (as quoted above) plus extra plating for armor etc, and we'd have a vehicle any merc would be proud to be seen in...  8)

[Dweller_Benthos]

I think the developers missed out on a great opportunity to "show-off" the versatility of the Jeep. Hehe. I recall reading that since it was introduced during WW2, the Jeep has fulfilled almost every role (anti-tank, anti-infantry, medic, engineer, command, etc.) AND has mounted almost every kind of weapon possible (missiles, rpg's, machineguns, even stretchers for medics, etc.).

*cough*   *cough* NUCLEAR RIFLE  *cough*  *cough*

Now, wouldn't you like that in your FC2 arsenal???

[deadman1]

I think the developers missed out on a great opportunity to "show-off" the versatility of the Jeep. Hehe. I recall reading that since it was introduced during WW2, the Jeep has fulfilled almost every role (anti-tank, anti-infantry, medic, engineer, command, etc.) AND has mounted almost every kind of weapon possible (missiles, rpg's, machineguns, even stretchers for medics, etc.).

*cough*   *cough* NUCLEAR RIFLE  *cough*  *cough*

Now, wouldn't you like that in your FC2 arsenal???

Reminds me of the mininuke from FO3  :)

[Dweller_Benthos]

Yeah, just be sure you're upwind, lol

[deadman1]

Yeah, just be sure you're upwind, lol

;D

[Art Blade]

hehehe  ;D