Artificial Dumbness

Art Blade · May 29, 2009, 06:16:40 AM

haha, retiredgord, actually I was making fun of apologising for it, since everyone went off topic, apologised, but kept staying off topic anyway.

by the way, sorry for being off topic again ;D

spaceboy · May 29, 2009, 08:11:43 AM

nobody minds offtopic too much here really, makes it more conversational. I dislike when people on other forums right away post some comment about it. It's all for fun.

Of course, then you ask why I apologized for going off topic.. who knows!

flowers, helicopters, brain surgery, toe jam, dental floss, scube diving, corn on the cob,

how's that for off topic?

KingRat · June 08, 2009, 02:19:12 PM

Ok, more in line with JRD's first post. :)

Took the Bowa bus to the SW sector. Instead of heading to the village I went out the back toward the mine. Unlocked the safe house, and was looking at the GP across the valley with the monocular. Watched as ATP guys came across bridge and the fun began. They started backing, going forward, backing...almost backing off the cliff then finally going forward off the cliff! :D This put all the guards on alert so I equip a sniper and start watching through the scope. One of them must have shot a barrel because the whole place erupted in flames....gas pumps etc.

I noticed some of the guards heading in my direction, and instead of taking them out I went inside. Not much later I hear some rustling around outside. Through the crack in the door frame I see one of the guards nosing around. Waited for him to clear and headed back to the bus.....

I was thinking how I would have liked a vid of that, and I didn't have to fire a shot... ;D

JRD · June 08, 2009, 07:33:18 PM

Great story KingRat... I love when I arrive somewhere and the whole place is just a mess. ("I didn't do it" comes to mnd ;D)

As for the jeep going back and forth... I call it an "Austin Powers manouver" ;D ;D and only AD can perform it on a wooden bridge ;)

Dweller_Benthos · June 09, 2009, 07:24:33 AM

Yeah, that simple u-turn seems to get messed up more often than not:

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I've seen them stuck there like this, or they drive off the cliff into the gully that gets flooded by the pipeline later in the game. With the driver & gunner just standing around trying to look innocent.

"We didn't do it, we found it that way"

PZ · June 09, 2009, 03:44:51 PM

Here's another pinnacle of artificial dumbness - a speeding Unimog.... a merc standing in the middle of the road yelling "Well, look what we got..." in a derisive tone of voice...

JRD · June 09, 2009, 03:54:27 PM

While you, behind the wheel, thinking: "Well, look what we got..." ;D ;D

PZ · June 09, 2009, 04:08:47 PM

hahaha, you know it JRD! I wait for that line when in the game! ;D

Art Blade · June 09, 2009, 04:50:53 PM

lol... look what we got... that's so bloody catchy :) :-X

On this forum we recently have both "flares" and "merc war" as a dear subject. So maybe you get a chuckle out of this one:

Down at CockFights I watched the mercs from the nearby GP waltz into the area and although slightly outnumbered (3vs5) they started to hassle the resident mercs. So one of the CF mercs goes "give me cover, I'll launch a flare!" With me right next to him (hidden in a bush). What I saw was a merc in one of those stands with a roof... and what I heard was a flaregun next to me go *pop* immediately followed by a pouf of the flare, and the merc going "Huuuhh! HuuuooaaaaAAAHH! -- AAh-Aaaahrrrrrrrrrg!" The idiot had launched the flare straight at the roof (at an armlength distance) and set himself alight :-X ;D

JRD · June 09, 2009, 05:28:13 PM

huahuahahahauauahuahauhauhauahuahuahhjghfshgalkabv
Excellent Art :-X

Worse than "shot himself in the foot".
This guy must be Ned's cousin ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

PZ · June 09, 2009, 06:39:38 PM

hahahahahaha.... good one both of you! :-X

Art Blade · June 09, 2009, 06:44:04 PM

;D ;D I always get a chuckle out of JRD's long laughs hahahaha

cheers, PZ :)

About Ned's cousin, I thought "who do you think actually sees a flare that doesn't even go much higher than your head" ;D ;D ;D

PZ · June 09, 2009, 07:03:53 PM

Talking about a chuckle, I always get one when there's obviously something horribly wrong in an area (dead mercs, fires, explosions) and you hear a couple of the mercs saying "hey, you hear about Ned?" or "nah... it's nothing..."

JRD · June 09, 2009, 07:24:52 PM

I also like
- He's here somewhere!
- How many is he
;D ;D ;D ;D

retiredgord · June 09, 2009, 07:53:47 PM

"We got you surrounded. Sourrounded. Hell he's got us surrounded". One of my fave's

Art Blade · June 09, 2009, 08:09:07 PM

"He's here somewhere, I can practically taste him" one of mine :)

Quote from: JRD on June 09, 2009, 07:24:52 PMHow many is he ;D ;D ;D ;D

Glad you brought that one up, I always thought I didn't hear it right :)

PZ · June 10, 2009, 07:34:59 AM

Just finished the mission to destroy the kilns at the Dogon Village and decided to stop by Sediko to free a buddy. Managed to sneak in without firing a shot and when I freed Andre, he said "Good, you killed all the guards.." I wish at times that I wasn't a mute so that I could have replied: "no - no... they're all still alive!"

JRD · June 10, 2009, 08:04:51 AM

Or "Yeah, sure, why don't you take a walk outside, it's a beautyful day" ;D ;D ;D

Art Blade · June 10, 2009, 08:07:22 AM

hahahaahahahahah!!! ...and wait inside, crank up the volume of your speakers, and listen to act 2 of merc wars ;D

RedRaven · June 13, 2009, 03:31:41 AM

these dumb mercs...
just done my usual of driving full speed past the broken bus in south-east, where the envelope for predecessor tapes appears. ran 1 merc down, sped off to avoid gun fire and pulled up behind a rock to snipe the other two, turned round just in time to see one throw a grenade right at the feet of his pal !?!

saved me a bullet i guess.

PZ · June 16, 2009, 09:10:21 PM

I saw another pair of AT dummies hear me as they were crossing a bridge. On the other side, they turned around as I prepared for a gun battle - just as I pulled out the trusty MP5, the driver accidentally gunned the engine and drive off the edge and into the river. Quickly I ran to the edge in time to see the two mercs bobbing in their death throes... then the final sink into oblivion...

The sun was behind my back and I was far enough to see a gorgeous landscape that was their death tribute.

JRD · June 17, 2009, 07:54:14 AM

hahahaha great one PZ...
I almost can see it... a beautyful landscape, sunset and drowning mercs... poetic ;D ;D ;D

Art Blade · June 17, 2009, 08:15:51 AM

;D

I'd miss a burning oil well or three, to complete the picture :)

Dweller_Benthos · June 17, 2009, 09:23:16 AM

Quote from: PZ on June 10, 2009, 07:34:59 AM
Just finished the mission to destroy the kilns at the Dogon Village and decided to stop by Sediko to free a buddy. Managed to sneak in without firing a shot and when I freed Andre, he said "Good, you killed all the guards.." I wish at times that I wasn't a mute so that I could have replied: "no - no... they're all still alive!"

I did the same thing when I rescued Andre, only he said something like "So, the guards are still alive?" then went on, but I forget what he said after that, I just walked back out the way I came.

PZ · June 17, 2009, 12:52:24 PM

Well, I guess we could call it "artifical buddy dumbness". Either I'm the best silent killer in the world, my buddy is completely deaf, or he/she is just plain stupid to ask me if all the guards are dead... ;D