Argh, stupid! (lol)

Started by Art Blade, August 23, 2009, 05:49:27 PM

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fragger

This is a new one on me. I was under the impression that mercs' weapons never jammed - but they do! A bad guy opened up on me from pretty close range, so I ducked down behind a rock. A second later I heard a noise like, "chika-chika-chika-chika..." I popped up to see the merc frantically trying to unjam his G3-KA4. A few seconds later, it wasn't a problem for him any more ;D

Not really an "Argh, stupid!" story, but I thought I'd stick it here instead of starting a new topic for it.

You guys have probably seen a merc weapon jam, but it was yet another cool FC2 surprise for me :)

Art Blade

I didn't know that, either  :-X All I keep seeing is how they run dry and need to reload.  :)
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

JRD

Oh I've seen mercs guns jam a couple of times.  :-X

On one ocasion I was ice cold... swaped my PKM for my machete and slowly walked towards him as he was screaming "Oh no, not now, not now, c'mon, c'm.... " SLASH.......  ;D ;D ;D ;D

On another one I just pulled a shotgun and separated his body from his troubled mind!!

They don't jam as often as when you are holding them though!
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

Art Blade

hehe, some mean people around here  ;D :-X
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

mandru

In my head I keep replaying:

Quote from: Art Blade on December 19, 2009, 09:37:57 AM

"he's in there! Get him out!"
"what do we do? what do we do? "
"toss a grenade in!"
"that won't stop him!"



It reminds me so much of the scene from Blazing Saddles where Mongo is sent into Rock Ridge to kill sheriff Bart but starts off by punching a horse and knocking it out and then tearing the bar up.

A plea for help reaches Bart and he agrees but when Bart starts to strap on his guns Gene Wilder's character (Waco Kid?) stops him saying:

"No, no! Don't do that!  Don't do that, if you shoot him you'll just make him mad."


I guess it's a good thing that they don't make them like that any more.  ;D

- mandru
Gramma said "Never turn your back 'till you've cut their heads off"

Art Blade

[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

RedRaven

Having not played FC2 for a fair while decided to play through it with the 1.03 cheat manager thing with the very deep voice :) .
So I'm sat there, walking round, memories flooding back of previous treks through the landscape, decided to grab a hang glider and enjoy a scenic flight.
Guess what the first thing I did was the moment my feet left the ground ? ? ?

  - held down the "W" key to go forward !  Needless to say I was kissing the rock Instantly ::) .

note to self - USE THE CORRECT KEYS ! !
Fehu, Uruz, Thurisaz, Ansuz, Raido, Kenaz, Gebo, Wunjo, Hagalaz, Nauthiz, Isa, Jera, Eithwaz, Perth, Algiz, Sowilo, Tiwaz, Berkano, Ehwaz, Mannaz, Laguz, Ingwaz, Othila.

Art Blade

nice one.  ;D

Instantly reminds me of my stupidity when I had exchanged my silent 6P9 with an M-79 handheld grenade launcher, and then trying to shoot my banged-up car's engine a little so white smoke emerges so I could repair it, to make it "battle ready" (you know, better whack your engine on purpose and immediately repair it than to meet mercs and watch your engine steam away and die after bumping over the first innocent pebble in the road). However, I visualised shooting it with my silent mp5, which is about the same size as that M-79, and imagine my surprise when I blew up my car right into my face... the 5.1 speakers bobbing around on my desk and my ears ringing with the blast...  :D

note to self: bloody check weapons!
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

mandru

- mandru
Gramma said "Never turn your back 'till you've cut their heads off"

mmosu

I did that once except I was standing on top of a vehicle looking straight down into it - my finger accidentally grazed the "grenade" button  :-[

Art Blade

Nothing to be ashamed of. What doesn't kill you, makes you weirder.  ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

fragger

Quote from: Art Blade on December 22, 2009, 05:26:34 PM
Nothing to be ashamed of. What doesn't kill you, makes you weirder.  ;D

Lol ;D ;D ;D

Can I quote you on that? Oh... I just did...

Art Blade

Just shot a merc who then dropped into the water, off a pier, and drowned (lol) Then his buddies arrived and they went,

"Geez, look at this!"
"I wanna find this guy and take him out. Real slow."


;D ;D ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

mandru

Nice catch Art.  :-X

Quote from: Art Blade on December 29, 2009, 09:59:24 AM

"Geez, look at this!"
"I wanna find this guy and take him out. Real slow."


;D ;D ;D

I usually snipe them at a distance so I'm out of hearing range for a lot of these gems. I need to start getting in a little closer before I take them out.
- mandru
Gramma said "Never turn your back 'till you've cut their heads off"

eor123

Heard a Merc say "Thank Christ, he's leaving." as I was walking out of Pala with a Level 4 Reputation.  ;D

Got shot up INSIDE the armory the other day. The truck mounted 50 cal was penetrating the walls. I think the Mercs were really mad at me.

Also had to bail out of the armory recently as a fire I had started blowing up a pursuing truck caught  spread to the building. Made it out just as all the ammo inside went off. Was quite a spectacle.

I got so annoyed after being pinned down by mortar fire near the pump house, I jumped in the water, swam to the island and slashed him with my machete before he could process what was happening.

I really hate those mortar guys.   
"Seriously...f@#k it. This place is like an airplane with the engines falling off. The pilots are too busy choking each other to see there is a problem. "  -- Marty Alencar

fragger

Quote from: eor123 on December 30, 2009, 03:32:35 AM
Heard a Merc say "Thank Christ, he's leaving." as I was walking out of Pala with a Level 4 Reputation.  ;D

Nice one :-X :-X

I agree, eor123, those mortar guys are a major pain. Glad you taught him an etiquette lesson ;D

I found a trap the other day. I took the hang glider from just south of the Crash Site, near the safe house, to get the diamond case on the ledge to the WNW. Got the goods and decided which would be the best way to jump back down. I walked to the north end of the ledge against the cliff face, where I came to a narrow cleft with a rock in it below me. I thought it looked like a good, safe way to get back down so down I dropped - and got hopelessly stuck there! I tried jumping, crouching, and dropping grenades to try and blow myself back out, all to no avail. In the end I had to load up a previous save as there was just no way to get out of that cleft :D

So watch out for that one!

Art Blade

funny stories, eor123 :) I had set a bush on fire behind an armoury once and that set off the ammo inside, too. Actually, the back of those armouries is quite thin and not exactly fire-resistant, about anything that emits flames will penetrate that "wall" and eventually set off the ammo crates.

And that mortar guy, I too hated him (and slash him a couple of times just like you did) but there is a solution how to safely take him out (see my journals, "a different approach" and its discussion topic for pics).

Fragger, funny story about your cleft  ;D I'm glad I haven't found it so far  ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

Art Blade

This time AD (artificial dumbness) saved my life. And I bet those mercs who had once manned that Grenade Launcher Assault Truck would still be slapping their foreheads, uttering "argh! stupid, stupid, stupid!" had they survived that little mishap:

I had just taken out an arms dealer convoy which came through Post Office, though I had taken it out a bit away from there. Then I wanted to somehow pass PO in my unarmoured buggy when I heard engine sound -- the GLAT patrolling the area! I was coming from the east, so I had a hill between me and PO, and the engine sound was coming from somewhere behind the hill. I then heard that sharp CLACK! of the GL, immediately followed by a rather big explosion. All I had seen was a silhouette of part of the GLAT, looming up from behind that hilltop, when flames burst out into the sky and car parts flew around. I dared take a look on foot, and this is what I saw:

[smg id=1879 align=center width=400]

Those idiots had seen me but instead of hitting me, they must have either hit the hill or a tree close to them, a tree more likely, and the splash damage of their own grenade took them both out. And their GLAT. LOL
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

fragger

Funny story, Art :-X I love some of the mercs' bonehead moves!

Nice new avatar, btw :)

Art Blade

cheers :)

The avatar is my version of yin/yang, originally it was a merc's face and I played around with irfanView's filters so long that I got this out of it  ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

JRD

That kind of AD saved me a few times too.
A few times a GLAT fired a grenade into a rock or tree, saving my @ss... and it happened while I was really short on health or syerttes.
But one constant sample of that behavior can be seen at the Ranger Station: there is a RPG merc in the middle of it and if you approach from north, after taking care of the DD/AT around there you can see it happening. That particular merc gets really happy to see you there and end up blowing himself up!  ;D ;D

You can see an article featuring him here
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

Art Blade

just read your article again, and yes... I remember that pic where he blows himself up (very cool pic)  ;D :-X
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

Art Blade

I've just seen something so stupid it made me laugh out loud: Leboa, the guard post in the NE you need to pass to get to the windmill shop when coming from the fort (the same GP fragger and KingRat like to climb a nearby rock for better view). Well, everyone was already dead when the Jeep patrol arrives. The merc gets out, decides he could get closer to me by car and gets back in, tries to perform a crisp and clean 10-point-turn (expression coined by RedRaven) and ends up ramming something really bad, probably a yellow or a red barrel. It sets off, blows the Jeep up which does a few flips, the merc's voice without any panic in it, "AAAAaaaah-HAAaaaaah!" and lands on all four if slightly charred wheels. Excellent show. The only merc who could have caused me some troubles vouluntarily becomes extinct ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

fragger

 ;D ;D ;D

I guess he thought, "All my buddies are dead! I wanna be dead too!"

Peer group pressure can be very detrimental to one's development ;D

Art Blade

 ;D

Especially if helped with a yellow (I checked it) barrel  ;D
[titlebar]Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.[/titlebar]What doesn't kill us, makes us weirder.

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